Raze (2013) - Zoe Bell, Doug Jones Movie HD

Zoe Bell (Death Proof) returns to the exploitation genre in Josh C. Waller's "RAZE".

First premiering at New York's Tribeca Film Festival, "RAZE" follows the fate of 49 women as they are kidnapped by the sadistic Elizabeth (Sherilyn Fen)  and Joseph (Doug Jones), a married couple whose idea of a good time is a blood thirsty sporting event where two women are placed in room in some part of their mansion and forced to fight to one of them is dead. There is a catch, however, that ensures that the women fight: You back out, and we'll send somebody out to your unsuspecting family harm.

Although, if you are looking for your standard 70's style Women-in-Prison exploitation film you are going to be disappointed as Waller touts "RAZE" more  in  the  vein of a more  serious,  if it were men that were kidnapped and forced to fight to save their loved ones.

In the end there can only be one.




Until next time....

Bill & Ted Have a Naked Lunch. My Review for "John Dies at the End"

From blog to book to screen, the evolution of David Wong’s “John Dies at the End” has been pretty much a writer’s dream. And with the sequel to “John” in bookstores now (Wong has said the story is going to be a trilogy), and after viewing the film last night, I wonder if there will be a second one. Or if there is really any need.

The story of “John Dies at the End” unfolds as David (Chase Williamson) is relating the facts to a reporter (Paul Giamatti) of the events some events that took place and how he and his best friend, John played by Rob Mayes (in both movie & the book they come as a modern day Bill & Ted) deal with the strange goings on in their Midwest town. It hasn’t always been this way, mind you. They don’t even realize the weirdness that goes on behind the scenes of life, taking place just out of the corner of your eyes, until they meet the weird Jamaican that does magic tricks and reads minds for beer one night at a party. While Dave turns out to be the smart one, leaving the party with his newly found dog (the dog belongs to Amy, a one handed girl who lost him after he bit the Jamaican), whereas John meets up with mad Reggae guy and heads off to a coffee shop with several others.

Later that night John calls David telling him he is stuck in house by this weird creature. David, thinking that John is tripping on bad drugs, heads over to John’s apartment where the two make a mad dash out of the place. David not sure what the hell is going on and what John has taken wants to head to the hospital. John nixes the idea and the two wined up at an all night diner where John tells David about the Jamaican and a drug called the Soy Sauce. And that John believes that he has been traveling through different times. Things go from bad to worse as David finds out that the drug opens doors to different dimensions and that beings from the other side are planning to take over Earth. And now that David & John have learn about this, it all falls on their shoulders to prevent this hostile take over.

Now we find out that the Jamaican and almost everyone else that went to party with are dead except for a select few. The cops are on the case and some douche-bag, wannabe white rapper has been possessed by the other side and has began kidnapping all the survivors...

I don’t want to give too much away. But I found the movie rather a mess. There is a lot that goes on the novel and i figured that they would have to cut large chunks of it and molde things together. Which is fine. All adaptations from books to film take those liberties. However, with “John”, and while the first half of the movie stays pretty faithful to the first quarter of the book, highlighting some major points, the film as a whole felt cobbled together & rushed. There is never any real development of the story and why certain things are happening and will happen. Especially in the beginning as the film tries to stay true to the beginning of the book, although, it comes off confusing if you haven’t read it.Also there is very little character development. We learn very little about David and John and nothing at all about the rest of the cast. Even that of Amy who plays a pivotal role in the story.

All and all “John Dies at the End” is just okay (which sucks because I was really looking forward to this film), expecting much more from Don Coscarellie who brought us great films as "Bubba Ho-Tep" & "Phantasm" . And while it has the feel of Bill & Ted meets Naked Lunch, in the end it mostly comes off as a “I Hope they Serve Beer in Hell” adaptation than the one it really deserves.  

I give “John Dies at the End” 2 and half severed heads out of 5. Read the book. You’ll enjoy the story a whole lot more.     

Hell Night (The Movie) My Fifteenth Must See Pick of the Halloween Season

The video above is the whole movie of "Hell Night", and not the trailer


Aaahhh, now here is some college coed fodder… “Hell Night!”

Linda Blair tried to get away from the horror genre with awesome disco flicks like “Roller Boogie” but like Pacino as Michael Corleone, “They keep pulling me back in!”, so goes the “Exorcist” star, Linda Blair.

It’s Halloween Night and the campus is in full party mode, swinging and rockin’ as only college campuses can. But not only is it Halloween but it is also Hell Week for the poor fucktard pledges that for whatever the reason want to be part of the “Greek Life“. And for the pledges of Alpha Sigma Rho it is do or die time (little did they know how literal that term would be). Marti (Linda Blair), Jeff (Peter Barton), Seth (Vincent Van Patten), and Denise (Suki Goodwin) are told that they are suppose to spend the night in the old Garth Manor. Where of course twelve years prior was the scene for murder-most-foul. Turns out that old man Raymond Garth had enough of the family life so he set out and strangled his dear wife for besetting him with three mongoloid kiddies. After dispatching his wife-y Daddy Raymond went about killing the children as well. When he was done, Raymond set himself up a little noose and chair dove into oblivion. However, legend has it that one of the youngsters survived, witnessing the carnage reaped by dad and is still living somewhere upon the grounds.

Peter (Kevin Brophy), the Alpha male of Alpha Sigma Rho locks in his four pledges for the evening, but he is not about to tempt fate and has set up along with his two dimwitted assistants hidden scares and sound effect devices to make it hard on the new blood. Because lets face it, no one wants wimps on their team. So if all goes according to plan Peter has what he newbie’s or fodder for the fire. But we all know, when it comes to horror nothing ever goes according to plan. And when the bodies start piling up who knows who is going live through “Hell Night”.

I found “Hell Night” simplistic but well done, and I am surprised it didn’t spawn countless remakes since the 80s were great for really starting that trend in horror because they really left the door wide open for it. Thankfully “Hell Night” only turned out to be one shot and there seems to be “NO” remake on the horizon which is an added plus.

So sit back, roll a fatty (…lol), and much some popcorn with a couple of hotties.

Until next time…  

"A Cat in the Brain" My Eleventh Must See Pick for the Halloween Season

What is a Halloween season without an appearance of controversial Italian Gore Director (and who is considered the “Godfather” of the genre) Lucio Fulci? A sucky one, that is what! And today’s installment of my must sees is one Fulci’s most original works and probably one of his most insane and regrettably one of his last: “Nightmare Concert” aka “A Cat in the Brain”.

“A Cat in the Brain” is a “Meta-Style-Film” where Fulci plays himself as the main character of Dr. Lucio Fulci, a horror/splatter film director, who is not only tortured but driven by his violent visions. Fulci, feeling ever more like he might be losing his grip on reality with ever-increasing fantasies of murder and mayhem decides that it might be high time to see a psychotherapist. But unfortunately for Fulci, his new psychotherapist, Professor Egon Swharz, has something more sinister than treating Fucli’s bloody visions. More of something along the lines of stalking the famed director and using Fulci’s gory nightmares-esque movie death scenes for his own personal use. And in the end to try to pin his own wheel-of-mayhem upon the famed director.

A truly insane nightmare of sadism, carnage, and brutal lust that only can be delivered by the Godfather of Splatter himself!

Until next time…

"Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park" My Tenth Must See Pick for the Halloween Season

Sandwiched between the pot smoking, acid dropping love in’s of the 1960’s and the cocaine fueled rage of the 1980’s, the 1970’s proved to be one fucked up decade. Hence today’s installment of Halloween madness, “Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park”.

Originally made for television, before anyone thought about something called Mtv, by NBC then later put in theatrical rotation outside the US where it finally got repackaged and put out on VHS;  Part “Scooby Mystery” part “Westworld” and all Rock Opera, “Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park” is a cult fav amongst Kiss fans.

The movie opens and we, the viewer, find Melissa (Deborah Ryan) and her boyfriend Sam (Terry Lester) enjoying a day at Magic Mountain Amusement Park. It is just your usual day of sunshine and lovebirds, that is until Sam gets the gumption to investigate the weird and strange acting park engineer, Abner Devereaux (Anthony Zerbe), who is creating a new attraction of cybernetic creatures for the park (think Frankenstein’s Monster and Dracula). Regrettably for Sam he is caught snooping in places he is not wanted and subsequently turned into a mindless cyborg himself.

Meanwhile, park owner Calvin Richards (Carmine Caridi), faced with a failing business plan and budget crunch diverts Devereaux’s much needed cash flow from the cyborg project and hires Kiss to perform at the park. Thinking that they will bring the kids and the cash. A non-too-happy Devereaux argues with Richards about the money to no avail. That is until a group teenage bikers sabotage one of the rides and nearly kills the riders. An outrage Richards blames Devereaux for the incident and fires the head engineer who then vows revenge upon Richards, the park, and Kiss who Devereaux blames most of all for his lost project funds.

The first step in Devereaux’s evil plot for revenge is to send a Kissbot in the form of Gene Simons to roam around the park destroying things. But when Kiss is questioned by authorities no action is taken against them and  the concert goes on as planned. Now an even more pissed off Devereaux sends his monstrous creations after the band and when Devereaux has Kiss locked up tight in his evil laboratory, Devereaux sends his Kissbots to the concert in place of the band in hopes if they start playing the wrong songs that it will entice the crowd to riot.

Oh know, what will Kiss ever do!

So grab a bottle of Jack and a bowl of acid and pull yourselves up to TV and immerse yourself into “Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park”. You won’t be disappointed. Well, that is, unless you are on the acid. If not then you’ll probably laugh your ass off.

Until next time…