Bill & Ted Have a Naked Lunch. My Review for "John Dies at the End"

From blog to book to screen, the evolution of David Wong’s “John Dies at the End” has been pretty much a writer’s dream. And with the sequel to “John” in bookstores now (Wong has said the story is going to be a trilogy), and after viewing the film last night, I wonder if there will be a second one. Or if there is really any need.

The story of “John Dies at the End” unfolds as David (Chase Williamson) is relating the facts to a reporter (Paul Giamatti) of the events some events that took place and how he and his best friend, John played by Rob Mayes (in both movie & the book they come as a modern day Bill & Ted) deal with the strange goings on in their Midwest town. It hasn’t always been this way, mind you. They don’t even realize the weirdness that goes on behind the scenes of life, taking place just out of the corner of your eyes, until they meet the weird Jamaican that does magic tricks and reads minds for beer one night at a party. While Dave turns out to be the smart one, leaving the party with his newly found dog (the dog belongs to Amy, a one handed girl who lost him after he bit the Jamaican), whereas John meets up with mad Reggae guy and heads off to a coffee shop with several others.

Later that night John calls David telling him he is stuck in house by this weird creature. David, thinking that John is tripping on bad drugs, heads over to John’s apartment where the two make a mad dash out of the place. David not sure what the hell is going on and what John has taken wants to head to the hospital. John nixes the idea and the two wined up at an all night diner where John tells David about the Jamaican and a drug called the Soy Sauce. And that John believes that he has been traveling through different times. Things go from bad to worse as David finds out that the drug opens doors to different dimensions and that beings from the other side are planning to take over Earth. And now that David & John have learn about this, it all falls on their shoulders to prevent this hostile take over.

Now we find out that the Jamaican and almost everyone else that went to party with are dead except for a select few. The cops are on the case and some douche-bag, wannabe white rapper has been possessed by the other side and has began kidnapping all the survivors...

I don’t want to give too much away. But I found the movie rather a mess. There is a lot that goes on the novel and i figured that they would have to cut large chunks of it and molde things together. Which is fine. All adaptations from books to film take those liberties. However, with “John”, and while the first half of the movie stays pretty faithful to the first quarter of the book, highlighting some major points, the film as a whole felt cobbled together & rushed. There is never any real development of the story and why certain things are happening and will happen. Especially in the beginning as the film tries to stay true to the beginning of the book, although, it comes off confusing if you haven’t read it.Also there is very little character development. We learn very little about David and John and nothing at all about the rest of the cast. Even that of Amy who plays a pivotal role in the story.

All and all “John Dies at the End” is just okay (which sucks because I was really looking forward to this film), expecting much more from Don Coscarellie who brought us great films as "Bubba Ho-Tep" & "Phantasm" . And while it has the feel of Bill & Ted meets Naked Lunch, in the end it mostly comes off as a “I Hope they Serve Beer in Hell” adaptation than the one it really deserves.  

I give “John Dies at the End” 2 and half severed heads out of 5. Read the book. You’ll enjoy the story a whole lot more.