"The Zero Boys" My Sixth Must See Pick for the Halloween Season

What do you get when you take “Wrong Turn” and add a bunch of wannabe survivalists/paint ball game players and make it in 1986?

You would get “The Zero Boys” that’s what.

By 1986 the horror market, especially horror set out in the backwoods (think the “Friday the 13th series) was rapidly growing stale and I found the “The Zero Boys” a nice, if not a cliché, departure from the big three (Jason, Michael, & Freddy) but still giving us all the basic needs when it comes to the genre: babes, babes for fodder, dudes for fodder, booze, sex, and we can not forget the main attraction: that being crazed hillbillies living in the backwoods doing dastardly things to un-expecting saps that happen to run across them.

The film opens up with a red hearing, the surrounding countryside appears to either be the intro of one of those 80’s apocalypse films that B-movie Hollywood loved to turn out at the time or this it could be a suburb of Tijuana. They both look pretty much the same. However, both choices are wrong and it turns out to just be a paintball survival game.

We follow our heroes to the path of victory as the main Zero Boy, Steve (Daniel Hirsh) puts a well place blob of paint goo into the forehead of a dude dressed as a Nazi SS officer, and in effect winning their little side bet. That of SS guy’s girlfriend, Jamie (80’s Scream Queen, Kelli Maroney).

After a little tension and an early version of a bad music montage where we see the rest of the team get together with their girlfriends and head out for a long weekend away from the city we finally get out to the woods and learn a little backs story on why the Zero Boys call themselves that. I won’t go into the full details other than they used to suck as a paintball team and they didn’t get awesome until they started training with REAL weapons. (Don’t all awesome paintball teams train that way?)

Of course while the group is out playing in the woods Jamie thinks that she sees someone running in the distance. Of course, at first, no one believes until they hear a woman scream from off in the said distance. Which then leads them the group to discover -and to forget about the scream- a house and barn off the well beaten path. At first the group thinks they have stumble upon some rich dudes haunting lodge and do what any normal person does when they find someone else’s house in the woods: make themselves right at home.

And this being horror all the fun comes to a crashing halt when Steve and another of his posse stumble across the fun and excitement that is the barn. Turns out the owners of the house have set up a sweet little snuff movie production pad out in the barn. And now it looks as if the Zero Boys are next of the play list.

So check it out. While not the best of production values it does hold up well with the other 80’s offerings of horror and in my opinion surpasses some of the mainstream sequel retreads early mentioned.

Until next time…