Is it High Time to Stake "True Blood?"

This blog contains spoilers for the finale of Season 6 of “True Blood”. If you have not yet seen that episode THEN DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER! I have seen enough cry babies on social media, stupid people that click on HASHTAGS then cry when they see spoilers because they haven’t yet watched it.

Now, with that said and out of the way...

Jesus Christ! Is it me or has the show-runners for HBO’s “True Blood” run off the tracks? Okay, the show has been a little iffy for a while and after the departure of Alan Ball I was curious to see where the show would go. But with Season 4 sucking major ass and after last season’s (Season 5) debacle of an ending I have to admit I was not really looking forward to this season. However, after the first take it or leave episode I was rather surprised. I liked the dark descent the show took it’s cast; how the show went down roads that if this was a true life event then we would surely see Nazi like encampments where they would experiment on the Vampire population. Then there was the page taken from Apartheid South Africa (the Apartheid Government devised a plan to do the same thing to their Black population) where the secret government group controlled by the Governor and his lackey Sarah Newlin unleashes a tainted True Blood supply into the Vampire population. Although in the end, like most diabolical plans in fiction, a plan that doesn’t quite have the intended consequences.  

Season 6 was by far the strongest and best since season 2, but like all good things that came to an end rather quickly.

Problem 1) Season 6 is the shortest of all seasons. Coming at a 10 episode count rather than the traditional 12.

Problem 2) Lame death scenes of both supposed strong characters and major ones.

Problem 3) A finale that seemed disjointed.

Problem 4) Lame side stories. One that didn’t make much sense.

I’ll tackle problem 4 first.

The whole storyline that centered around Terry Bellefleur (Todd Lowe) and his quest to die. It was boring and really never fit the show. The whole back and forth in episode 9 where the action went from when Eric was freeing the camp to flash to Terry’s funeral that contained flashbacks from his life. In reality both events should been their own episode. The distraction of Eric and the camp took away any emotional value the showrunners were trying to capture. If anything they should killed off Terry at the end of season 5. I know the thought process behind the closed doors at HBO figured that we the viewers would see that was going to happen a mile away and that Terry’s death would've been more shocking this season. But in the end I found it rushed and a distraction.

Then we have the whole Alcide (Joe Manganiello) storyline that didn’t make much of any sense.

The end of last season (5) we saw Alcide take control of the pack and set it on a new direction. Then by the middle of the opener of season 6 Alcide is a super dick and out of control -If the show was trying to make the statement that power corrupts they did it rather poorly- only by the end of the season he is back to the normal Alcide and he is chasing Sookie once again. Alcide’s storyline felt like an attempt to just have that character in the show (Sorta like they did with Terry’s character in earlier seasons), like it was just thrown together at the last moment.

And lets not get into the whole grandpa Faery Niall Brigant (Rutger Hauer) storyline. What a waste.  

When it comes to Problem 2 and the LAME DEATHS we have to think that when Reverend Newlin (Michael McMillian) has the best supernatural death then we have a real problem. Especially when it is pretty clear that the show has killed off it’s most popular character in that of Eric Northman (Alexander Skarsguard). Or that of the all powerful 5500 year old Vampire that is and was Warlow aka Ben Flynn (Robert Kazinsky).  

In a world that is set not only in sex but in blood and gore then one would think that when you kill off characters that are pivotal to the story you would make them somewhat good and dramatic. Despite the supernatural premise, “True Blood” is still a soap opera in a sense.

In the opening episode to season 6 we see the death of Luna (Janina Gavankar) who had been pretty much a main character for the past couple years. Unfortunately her death was like: “Is she dead?”. And when she somehow didn’t make any appearances for the rest of the season we were like: “I guess so.” And when it came to Luna’s death it was pretty much shrugged off by all those who were involved with her. Sam (Sam Trammell), who supposedly loved her, moved on pretty quick with the next  fresh face,  along with the rest of her friends who barely noticed her departure.  

I don’t know what it is when it comes to “True Blood” show-runners killing off “villains”. They haven’t  really gotten it right since season 2.  Take the big baddy for this year and Warlow who was created personally by the vampire god Lilith in the age before man really took the world. A Vampire-Faery hybrid that has stalked the world for over 5500 years. Unfortunately Warlow’s death was about as lame as the other super old baddy in the form Russell Edgington (Denis O’Hare). Warlow who was hellbent on marrying Sookie (Anna Paquin) was in the process of taking her when Grandpa Niall -who had been banished to the nether-realm where Warlow had been for decades- somehow forces his way through to grab Warlow so Jason could stake him. “That’s it?” Talk about deflating.

But the high point and probably the most dramatic death would be that of Eric Northman. After the death of Warlow the magical properties that were brought about by his blood (the act of allowing Vamps to walk in sun unfazed) were null and void. Which is a bad thing when you are a vampire who is sunning himself on a mountain top. Eric, probably the most popular Vampire in “True Blood”, was turned into a crispy critter while enjoying the sun and in my opinion is pretty fucking lame. And from the hashtags and message boards I am not alone in that thought process. Although there are those that think that Pam (Kristin Bauer van  Straten) in someway was able to save Eric from his bar-b-cue fate. Problem is that she would have the same problem now from the sun.

In past seasons the next to last episodes usually felt like the final act of the story with finale usually tying up any loose ends and leaving us (the viewers) with cliffhangers that have us chomping at the bit  for the next year for more. This time the finale for 6 felt very disjointed. The two big deaths of the season taking place rather early in the episode, allowing “True Blood” to fast forward 6 months later where we find Bill (Stephen Moyer) is now an author who has written a book about the events that took place in the camps and with him. Alcide and Sookie are now an item; and for some reason Sam is now Mayor of Bon Temps. The finale in ways felt like a series finale with the writers tying up all the loose ends of the story. However this is far from the case when we finally get the to the one and only real cliffhanger.

The government, partly due to Bill’s expose and the fact that the Vamp Camp has come to light has pretty much written off the great state of Louisiana as the population toils away against the rising hordes of infected vampires who drank the Hep V tainted bottles of True Blood. One of the main things the camps were working on. I know that most of social media is now calling them Vampire Zombies but the real fact is that they are infected and dying. And the only way to prolong their inevitable death is fresh blood. So they have taken to the road and hitting every small town ala “30 Days of Night” style. The irony here is that the Louisiana problem is mostly due to Eric freeing the Vampires from the camp. Leaving us with the cliffhanger where Mayor Sam, with aide of Bill, having devised a plan where humans get a vampire guardian in exchange for feeding the Vampires who can’t drink the True Blood or feed off the regular population in fear that some humans are carriers of the virus; where humans and vamps get together at what is now Arlene’s (Carrie Preston) bar. Brought out by the scent of fresh blood the party is about to be crashed by a large and angry horde of infected Vampires.

Is it enough to make want and wait until next June? I don’t know, maybe. But after the disappointing end to an otherwise decent season I am in no hurry to get back to “True Blood” anytime soon.  

Until Next Time...

Rob Zombie's "Lords of Salem": An Atmospheric, Trippy 70's Mash-Up

Since he transcended from the realm of Rockstar to Film Auteur with “House of a 1000 Corpses”, Rob Zombie has had mostly a love-hate relationship with his fans. And with his latest release, “Lords of Salem”, Zombie, proves that this will be much of the same. Despite the fact that this time around, [Rob] Zombie is completely thinking outside the norm of what has been his filming style and technique. Where before he set out for a certain shock value, with “Lords” Zombie has given us a very atmospheric, almost trippy film that borrows elements from such other masters of horror as Cronenberg, Polanski and Lynch.   

If “Lords of Salem” was made in the 1970’s (perhaps even as late as 1981) then it would have been hailed as an iconic horror film, much in the same way as such other greats of the genre of that time, as Dario Argento’s “Suspiria”, “Rosemary’s Baby” or even that of Stanley Kubrick's “The Shining”. Sadly, however, the film finds life in 2013 where most of the audiences that will go and see it will neither understand or have the patience for Zombie’s latest creation.

We find ourselves following along the life of DJ Heidi Hawthorn (aka Heidi LaRox), played by Sheri Moon Zombie, living life in Salem, Massachusetts, as night time radio’s hottest DJs. When One night after a show with her cohorts and hosts Herman ‘Whitey’ Salvador (Jeff Daniel Phillips) and Herman Jackson (Ken Foree), Heidi receives an old wooden box containing a vinyl record and a note saying it is from the band The Lords. Heidi takes the box home, and while she and Whitey are hanging around Heidi’s apartment, Whitey plays the record. The music is mostly made up of string instruments being played in some strange rhythmic beat. The music, however, invokes a vision of days past for Heidi (and that of Salem) who sees what happens to a coven of supposed “real” witches back in the days that would get you killed for practicing or even being accused of witchcraft. The next night Herman puts the record up for the typical radio gig of Smash or Trash, dubbing the band The Lords of Salem. However, those women that are descendants of Salem that are listening to the show are hypnotised by the sound; stopping what they are doing entranced. Much in the sameway Heidi was the night before. Unaware at the time, the music triggers something inside Heidi that sends her spiraling out of control as she begins to see and deal with things that can not possibly be real.

Like many 70’s films of the like, and while the film is set in modern day it has a definite 1970’s feel to it, Zombie does as little as possible in the way of character development. Just giving you the bare essentials (Early in the film we see Heidi taking shots with her co-hosts after the job only later to find out that she is a recovering junkie. A fact sort of come into play later in the film.) of backstories for them. Replaced instead with more backstory when it comes to plot. Although, that does not take away from the film. Zombie gives just as much as needed and doesn’t get bogged down in useless or over dialogued scenes. Which is good. While I do not mind (as others) that Zombie puts his wife Sheri in all his films, her acting is quite limited, and at times with this film it is painfully so. As Zombie stretches Sheri Moon’s acting ability and is a far cry from what she has done before. Zombie also has abandoned the shaky, handheld almost documentary style of camera work from his previous films. Replaced now with thought out scenes shot on steady cameras using 35mm film; fantastic lighting and set designs with a moving, moody score that draws the viewer inside this strange world where a sect of ancient witches are hell bent in bring the Devil’s child into our world. The plot is nothing new when it comes to this style and genre but Zombie makes it his own.

I can see the influences that Zombie has when it comes to horror. “Lords” is much in the way of “Rosemary’s Baby” was when it comes to subject matter; “The Shining” where the tension builds through the slow pace of the film helped with a heavy score; scenes that highlighted (while not of the 70’s, but just as insane) “Twin Peaks”. Though if it were made by Argento instead of Lynch.

“Lords of Salem” took me a little while to absorb. I was lucky enough to have seen it in an empty theater with no distractions that plague today’s movie going experience, because in my opinion (an opinion that Rob Zombie will only half agree with) is that this film, to get the true experience, needs to be seen in the theater. Although a mostly, if not fully, empty theater. I believe the impact of the visuals will be lost when it comes to BluRay, and won’t lend the same stimulation of the cortex of the mind that of the big screen.

Like with Sheri Moon, we find the usual Rob Zombie stand ins. Although, timeout if you blink you will miss Sid Haig and Michael Berryman. The real standout, acting wise, is Jeff Daniel Phillips (aka the Geico Caveman). Phillips brings forth a certain reality and believability to his character.

Love it or hate it, Zombie, with “Lords of Salem, does exactly what he sets out to do with the audience with the visuals, the sound and added factor of a creepy-ass, empty theater: the film sits with you long after it is finished. Leaving to think and discuss with others about what the hell you have just sat through.

I give, even though most will disagree, “Lords of Salem” 4 out of 5 severed heads.

Until Next time...            

Evil Dead Fails to Steal Your Soul

I, like a plethora of other devoted fans, cringed at the prospect of there being an “Evil Dead” remake/reboot. Because we have been down this proverbial road to disaster time and time again. And when Hollywood went and attached Diablo Cody (today’s version of Poppy Z. Bright. And if you don’t know who that is it’s quite alright) to write a revision of the screenplay I was ready to head to the place “where they’ll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss but fifty cents for your soul” (Marilyn Monroe) and beat someone with a hockey stick. While I have no real untrammeled animosity towards the person in question (I thought Juno was great), however, she -being Cody- who sold us on her being a HUGE horror fan, then turned around and gave us the shitfest that was “Jennifer’s Body”. I mean, what the fuck was that other than a slap to the balls. So, my prospects for anything GOOD fell off that habitual cliff of shit.

Then when a good friend and die hard horror fan told me that I had see the Red Band Trailer, that it would make everything all that much better, I took his advice, and, quite frankly, he wasn’t wrong on any account. High hopes had replaced the shear sorrow for the remake/reboot.

“Evil Dead” the remake is hard hitting, no holds barred reinterpretation that took out the campiness that 

made the original so much fun (Rami had actually had planned the first to be a real horror film. But do to bad acting his horror flick become the dark comedy that we have). Replaced that campiness with blood and gore and scares galore. The remake updates the story a bit as we find the latest crop of twenty-somethings out in the woods, staying in a run down, dilapidated cabin. What was before a weekend getaway has now become a weekend intervention to get Mia (Jane Levy) off drugs. Again. Her friends enlist her brother, David (Shiloh Ferandez), who has taken to escapism, running off to Chicago for “work” right about the time his sister needed him most when their mother became sick and fell prey to dementia. Leaving it all hanging on dear sis. Who then, in turn, turned to escapism herself in the form of drugs. The idea for this time’s intervention is to head up to David and Mia’s old family getaway cabin, 

where the family saw happier times. To keep Mia there against her will if need be.

The cabin has had seen better times as it lays in the middle-of-nowhere-Michigan (look for Ash’s car sitting and rusting away out front). The group finds that the place had been broken into at some point and has been pretty much ransacked. During clean up they discover that someone had been in the cellar. And when they go to investigate find that some sort of weird ritual had taken place there. David quickly writes it off as teenagers screwing around while his friend, Eric (Lou Taylor Pucci) has more ominous feelings that relate to some kind of witchcraft. Of course during their look-see of what the basement holds they come across a book on a table wrapped in a plastic black bag, and round with barbed wire. Setting the basis for bad ideas. Not just bad ideas, but all time bad ideas.

While Eric is perusing the book the line: “You mustn't read from the book!” from the 1999 version of the

“Mummy” kept flashing in my mind. But, as you would guess it, Eric reads from the book. Not only does he have bad ideas but apparently he is an idiot as well. Now I have to say that when the dark force in the woods to steal its first soul, director Fede Alvarez stayed with original look and sound. And as you can imagine things go from bad to worse. As Mia feels that she is losing her mind, her friends and brother think that it’s just drug withdrawal, Mia attempts to flee. Only to find herself crashing. Here we get another nod to the originals with what happens to Mia in the woods. Her brother thinking that she is desperate need of a hospital finds that they are trapped by an overflowing river. Again updating from the first go around when the bridge over the cliff has for some reason fell apart. David, figuring things will be better in the morning, feels that waiting it out is the best option. However, he only ends up playing into the hands of evil.

As I watched the film play out before me, I kept thinking that this is almost like a "Cabin in the Woods" rip off which is, ironically, an "Evil Dead" rip off. Which at times felt a tad bit distracting. The first hour of this go around of "Evil Dead" was strong. When the shit went down, it went down. Alvarez leaves nothing out when it comes to uncomfortable scenes and gore.

But then it happened. Like it always does.

If "Evil Dead" would've ended 12 minute earlier it would have been top notch. But, unfortunately, either 

Alvarez or the Producers or the studios felt the need to put as much as possible into this film. The last 12 minutes could've been the outline and treatment to the (no doubt coming) sequel. Which is sad.

Stay until the credits roll through. It’s worth it to die hard fans of the original films.

I give it 3 and half out of 5 on the severed head scale.

Until next...     

"The Purge" First Look and Thoughts

The new thriller "The Purge" set to hit theater at the start at the Summer Blockbuster season has an interesting concept. I mean, I for one, have had many a conversation along this line where if you could get away with murder, would you? and if life would be better if we could go out and kill assholes once year. How the world would somehow be transformed into a better place. I know, I am a sick sick person at times, however, so are you for reading this... lol... any way...

The Purge stars Ethan Hawke (Sinister) and Lena Headey (The Game of Thrones) as two parents that would rather sit out this little soiree of violence, locking themselves and their two children behind a security system that basically is suppose to turn their home into a fortress, as we enter their lives right before the time of mayhem is to begin. Hawke is having to explain why the world is the way it is and why they would rather sit out and not participate. Sound reasoning that falls on deaf ears when it comes to his son who takes it upon himself to rally against the grain of society and help out a stranger who being chase by unknown assailants that he sees from the camera. Unfortunately, for them, that person is seen entering the residents. And quickly hides. Because in truth there is no reason why they won't kill him themselves. But this rash decision now has consciences when the pursuers show up looking for their quarry. Giving Hawke and his family an hour to find and turn him out. Thus sets the stage for a night that will forever change the way Hawke and his family view the world. If they survive that is.

From the trailer it looks like something possibly worth checking out. Especially in a summer that will more than likely be plagued with the same crap that always seems to come out. Your usual set of Superhero flicks and remakes galore. Time for something different in my book.

Until next time... stay bloody