Evil Dead Fails to Steal Your Soul

I, like a plethora of other devoted fans, cringed at the prospect of there being an “Evil Dead” remake/reboot. Because we have been down this proverbial road to disaster time and time again. And when Hollywood went and attached Diablo Cody (today’s version of Poppy Z. Bright. And if you don’t know who that is it’s quite alright) to write a revision of the screenplay I was ready to head to the place “where they’ll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss but fifty cents for your soul” (Marilyn Monroe) and beat someone with a hockey stick. While I have no real untrammeled animosity towards the person in question (I thought Juno was great), however, she -being Cody- who sold us on her being a HUGE horror fan, then turned around and gave us the shitfest that was “Jennifer’s Body”. I mean, what the fuck was that other than a slap to the balls. So, my prospects for anything GOOD fell off that habitual cliff of shit.

Then when a good friend and die hard horror fan told me that I had see the Red Band Trailer, that it would make everything all that much better, I took his advice, and, quite frankly, he wasn’t wrong on any account. High hopes had replaced the shear sorrow for the remake/reboot.

“Evil Dead” the remake is hard hitting, no holds barred reinterpretation that took out the campiness that 

made the original so much fun (Rami had actually had planned the first to be a real horror film. But do to bad acting his horror flick become the dark comedy that we have). Replaced that campiness with blood and gore and scares galore. The remake updates the story a bit as we find the latest crop of twenty-somethings out in the woods, staying in a run down, dilapidated cabin. What was before a weekend getaway has now become a weekend intervention to get Mia (Jane Levy) off drugs. Again. Her friends enlist her brother, David (Shiloh Ferandez), who has taken to escapism, running off to Chicago for “work” right about the time his sister needed him most when their mother became sick and fell prey to dementia. Leaving it all hanging on dear sis. Who then, in turn, turned to escapism herself in the form of drugs. The idea for this time’s intervention is to head up to David and Mia’s old family getaway cabin, 

where the family saw happier times. To keep Mia there against her will if need be.

The cabin has had seen better times as it lays in the middle-of-nowhere-Michigan (look for Ash’s car sitting and rusting away out front). The group finds that the place had been broken into at some point and has been pretty much ransacked. During clean up they discover that someone had been in the cellar. And when they go to investigate find that some sort of weird ritual had taken place there. David quickly writes it off as teenagers screwing around while his friend, Eric (Lou Taylor Pucci) has more ominous feelings that relate to some kind of witchcraft. Of course during their look-see of what the basement holds they come across a book on a table wrapped in a plastic black bag, and round with barbed wire. Setting the basis for bad ideas. Not just bad ideas, but all time bad ideas.

While Eric is perusing the book the line: “You mustn't read from the book!” from the 1999 version of the

“Mummy” kept flashing in my mind. But, as you would guess it, Eric reads from the book. Not only does he have bad ideas but apparently he is an idiot as well. Now I have to say that when the dark force in the woods to steal its first soul, director Fede Alvarez stayed with original look and sound. And as you can imagine things go from bad to worse. As Mia feels that she is losing her mind, her friends and brother think that it’s just drug withdrawal, Mia attempts to flee. Only to find herself crashing. Here we get another nod to the originals with what happens to Mia in the woods. Her brother thinking that she is desperate need of a hospital finds that they are trapped by an overflowing river. Again updating from the first go around when the bridge over the cliff has for some reason fell apart. David, figuring things will be better in the morning, feels that waiting it out is the best option. However, he only ends up playing into the hands of evil.

As I watched the film play out before me, I kept thinking that this is almost like a "Cabin in the Woods" rip off which is, ironically, an "Evil Dead" rip off. Which at times felt a tad bit distracting. The first hour of this go around of "Evil Dead" was strong. When the shit went down, it went down. Alvarez leaves nothing out when it comes to uncomfortable scenes and gore.

But then it happened. Like it always does.

If "Evil Dead" would've ended 12 minute earlier it would have been top notch. But, unfortunately, either 

Alvarez or the Producers or the studios felt the need to put as much as possible into this film. The last 12 minutes could've been the outline and treatment to the (no doubt coming) sequel. Which is sad.

Stay until the credits roll through. It’s worth it to die hard fans of the original films.

I give it 3 and half out of 5 on the severed head scale.

Until next...